How to Survive a Zombie Apocalypse

How to survive a zombie spirit apocalypse Zombies, do they exist? bum there be actual zombies roaming around on the streets, ready to make any atomic number 53 and everyone who comes in sight a zombie? Well, Hollywood thinks so. The reason Im basing this theory of push aside zombies be real or the fact that zombies can one day roam amongst us (eventually destroying man pleasant), is because they argon the biggest influence in our lives. Dont believe me? Then I come close the long list of zombie mental pictures might help you change your perspective.Their ideology of assuring us into believing that the concept of zombies or zombie apocalypse is real is quite a believ able. And movies like Resident Evil, Dawn of the Dead, and 28 Days Later atomic number 18 perfect examples of such an event. Each of these movies has groups of people who are trying to get to a invulnerable place, away from all these zombies. But there isnt any guide or rules that they can follow while theyre on t his road to freedom. Its just one step at a time (and some of them get eaten in the process as well). So, there should be a guide which tells them how to survive if such an apocalypse ever occurred.In order to get infected by a zombie, you need to be bitten, or bite one of them, although I redeem no idea why you would ever deprivation to. The saliva and blood of a zombie have the potential to infect a person and eventually yield them, so keep your mouth shut if youre the stupid one using a chainsaw. To be honest I prefer a good over-the-hill fashioned flamethrower to burn those zombies where they die hard. How about an idea perhaps someone can read this article (a movie director) and magically keeps a few copies of it in the movie for the actors to find. Alright, alright, that was non a good joke.So allows move past that and get a bit serious. But before we do get to the specific rules to keep yourself safe from a zombie apocalypse, Id like to divert your attention to yet an other movie, Zombieland (by the way, I think its one of the best zombie movies of all time), Its funny, intelligently made, and the cat is small, but perfect. If you have seen the movie, then youll find some of those rules implemented here as well. And if you didnt get the opportunity to watch this classic movie, then may I suggest, occupy do so. And with that small note, we willing proceed towards our golden rules to survive a zombie apocalypse.What is a zombie? There are multiple definitions of the record zombie. The dictionary defines zombie as an animated corpse that feeds on living flesh. Other sources define zombie as One who moves or acts as if in a daze or a member of Congress or a Voodoo snake god. While snake gods are interesting, this how-to article will deal with single the first and second definitions of zombie. While Chavs were once thought to be zombies it has been recently proven that it is not the case. It would be an insult to zombies if they were even cont emplated to be in the same category as Chavs.Such contemplators were subsequently eaten. Types of zombies There are twelve types of zombies. They will be listed with a little fact about them 1. emcee zombies are dangerous to combat effectively. They require much more potent weaponry to approach with confidence, but are easier to flee and avoid. 2. Grue Zombies, grues who have (somehow) died and became zombies. There is really no way to despatch grue zombies unless you have Chuck Norris or can successfully pull off the shoop da whoop. 3. Camper zombies, zombies who hide and wait for prey, are the other common type.Campers hide in darkened corridors, side rooms, and even in the drywall. They prefer to wait for their prey to come near and then infract out and seize the victim. 4. Fast Zombies are some of your to the highest degree dreaded enemies when facing legions of the undead. Fast Zombies can vary in more ways, but the main(prenominal) item is that their entire physique (i. e . rotting of fat, skin, veins, and organs. ) is morphed to allow them to strike fast. The majority of fast zombies have been found to have been overzealous gym instructors and annoying co-workers who wont let go of the Can do attitude even post-mortem. 5.Elvis Impersonator Zombies These are usually the rarest, if not the most entertaining variety of undead you may encounter. They can be easily identified by their signature hairdo, glittery suits, and trademark lurching walk which they plagiarized from Elvis. This isnt really even a walk, since they dont really get anywhere. 6. When you know a Smart Zombie is around, the best thing you can do is avoid him at all costs. Smart Zombies have the ability to set up and carry out plans. 7. Sewer Zombies like to spend all their time in sewers and in drain areas, they are afraid of start out so taking a flashlight is a good idea.A better idea is to just avoid sewers. 8. Lady Zombies are exactly what they sound like. both necrophilias nig htmare, they are girl zombies. But surprisingly, theyre not that different from the live ones, they still moan and groan about the men never taking them anywhere. 9. The Zombie.. Chuck Norris , this is the most dangerous zombie ever. Some of the zombie abilities he is theorized to possess include infecting people by burping on them fare cellular regeneration (means he cant be killed. Ever. ) 10. Animal Zombies Depend on your luck. A zombie snail is most common but theyre totally harmless.Other kind of animal zombies do exist. Some of these are dog zombies. If a zombie gets to be this big, then its lethal. However, since much of its muscle has degraded by then, it wont be able to catch you. (THANK GOD ) If a CHEETAH zombie attacks you, even without its degraded muscle, then youre screwed. 11. Peanut zombies A. K. A. The Terrors of the junkyard, these vermicious brutes wander the junkyards, in poorly built helies, or compulsive guns. Avoid these brutes they have a leader, Project 29 5. He has two dual glocks, and is not afraid to use it. beware the ultimate ability. 12.Ninja/Samurai/Genghis Khan Zombies Once feared and regard warriors of Japan the zombie infection has made them some of the most terrifying zombies to invade your country. All have high level martial arts skills and requires complete weapon tactics to wipe out if using hand-to-hand combat, the chances are you will not survive. Certain firearms to have Everybody needs a weapon so here are the top ten 1. Chainsaw- Most of all Resident Evil or horror films and countless Hollywood scenes show the awesome power of the chainsaw. As cool as it is though, it ranks very low on the practical zombie-killing weapon list. . Lawn Mower- All the same problems as Chainsaw, with even greater problems. You know how ticklish one of those things are to lift, let alone to a position that the blades can even do their work. Also, it is not made to be lifted up into the air, so even if you can lift the mower, it will not stay up there for long. It might of looked cool in Brain Dead, it will never work. 3. Slingshot- It wouldnt be the wisest of choices. Using it against a zombie will only alert it to your presence, stupid. Unless you throw a bomb with it. 4. Edged Weapons- Imagine using a sword to kill a crowd of zombies nd you stab some zombie through the skull in the brain. Now imagine you turn to the zombie behind you to do the same, only to realize that its stuck on the first zombie that you stabbed and you cant seem to get it back. not a pretty picture, is it? So use one without a serrate edge. Unless you are a skilled fencer, this is an inadvisable choice. 5. Rubber Ducky- . not sure if that is the best idea, but just remember its your funeral JOINING THE LEGIONS OF THE UNDEAD. So if you REALLY necessity to use it and see what happens, by all means go ahead (dumbass).If you are dumb smart enough to do this, make sure you have a friend tape it and stick it up on YouTube, you will get more hits than Achmed the Dead Terrorist, easy. 6. Mop If there are no other blunt weapons available, you can always run to that janitorial closet(provided you didnt stuff zombies in there earlier) and take out a Long, Wooden, MOP Only to be used against 5-6 zombies, otherwise the long and heavy mop may sort of, backfire on you. 7. Weed Whacker- Insert into the mouth and let the fun begin (not usable for groups, will become the zombies fun) 8.Large Minigun will kill a lot of zombies, and is fun Though whoever is using it will die just as his buddies got to relative safety. 9. scattergun The second best weapon for zombies, there buck shots will blow off the heads of several zombies, the person who is carrying a shotgun will survive most zombie outbreaks. 10. Pistol short range, small clip, small bullet, only use on small groups, otherwise you are dead (or undead). Guide on survive a Zombie Apocalypse If we happen to be caught up in the world-ending zombie plague, then it wouldnt hurt fo r us all to have a real how-to list with us, right?There can be tons of rules to survive a zombie apocalypse as every one of us has a different way to tackling situations. And since Ive never been in this type of position before (thank God), I will be listing rules that I feel are ideal. So here are my top rules on how to survive a zombie apocalypse. 1. Run 2. Run even faster 3. Run faster than that guy neighboring to you 4. Trip the guy next to you 5. Dont let the spazzy woman try and get her dog back 6. Shoot people randomly 7. Drive to Alaska (Zombies will check into corpsicles, delicious AND nutritious , but get there fast, the roads will be too congested and if youre too slow Itll only be a tasty flesh bottleneck 8. Go out to sea (zombies cant swim, but its fun to see them try. WarningPeanut Zombies know how to swim, so run) 9. consecrate Ms. Barbra, the old lady across the street (no one liked her anyways. ) 10. Dont fall asleep in the open 11. If surrounded, just distract them with a classy dance (Warning May cause Zombification, Death, Death, and more Death. ) 12. Always find the nearest gun and ammo Shop, and always trade at least a 10,12, or 20 gauge shotguns, one hit kills 13.Notice that we said trade. Not even think about break into the shop, the shop keeper is always good with gun and you wont stand a chance. Hell, hes most likely the boss in that area with several goons, each carries gun bigger than yours. 14. Dont, for even one second think that you are safe. 15. You need 1 shot in their heads to kill them. So keep a few shotguns with you. 16. If youre in the manse, board up the windows and doors properly. 17. Fill as many containers as you possibly can with water. 18. Keep food supplies and other essentials. 19.Along with guns, gather anything that can smash skulls keep them handy. 20. Find a safe place for you, your friends, and family members. 21. earlier sunset, find a secured location to sleep. 22. Always keep your travel bags light less weight to carry means more easily to flee. 23. Do not harbor people who have been attacked or bitten by zombies. 24. Always wear comfortable clothing. Avoid movie-like wardrobe. 25. Wear as many layers as you can reasonably get away with. Have a trusted friend try to bite or claw their way through your wardrobe to test material strengths ahead of time. 6. We do want to survive so ladies no high heels, and fellas no saggin pants. 27. Have a first aid kit with you in the house and in your getaway car. 28. While traveling, DO NOT go in the woods or lonely areas. 29. If youre trying to stop the zombies from entering in the building, please dont try to hold the door. 30. Dont go anywhere alone. Follow the buddy system. But if youre the only human left, then I guess youre on your own. 31. Learn the zombie dance from Thriller. Because what if the zombies dance? And what is the difference between surviving and not dancing with them? 2. Guys we know you want to impress your girl, but please follow rule 33. If you want to impress her just keep her safe and stay alive yourself. 33. And our final golden rule DONT BE A HERO AND GO OUT IN SEARCH OF ZOMBIES TO KILL. Zombies are slow who drag their feet as they walk. As theyve lost control over their brain or the brain doesnt function properly, they are not very intelligent. But you are. So take necessary precautions before you go out there and try really hard to make it. Living in an undead world can be tough. So perhaps these rules can make existing less scary.